Hook (1991)

Pirate crew: Armed with guns and swords, the pirates are humiliated to lose to a band of children armed with chicken guns, vegetable slingshots, and a fat kid who rolls around in a ball. They all retire, and allowed to have working clocks again, many of them are able to find and hold 9-5 jobs.

Smee: With the jewels he steals from the ship, Smee retires in luxury. He buys a small island in Neverland and lives with his partner, Vernon. The two rarely leave the island.

Peter Banning (Peter Pan): Peter returns to work but finds himself stuck beneath a sort of ceiling. Insisting on a new wardrobe, Peter wears tights and eyeliner and regularly starts foodfights in the law firm cafeteria. He is happy, though, as even the littlest things - faxes, marbles, fire sirens - bring him the largest amount of joy. He rededicates his life to his children, who in a few years find his excitement in their childish things both overwhelming and disturbing. His insistence that all windows be open all the time plays havoc on their heating bills. His children cannot wait to leave for college, where they are afforded some space. Peter, however, now without his children, has a mid-life crisis. Overwhelmed by his mortality for the first time, he temporarily moves back to Neverland, where he reclaims his place as leader of the Lost Boys. Pan only stays around for a few months, though, as Tinkerbell continues to pressure him into a relationship. Peter dislikes wings.

Jack Banning: Jack takes his success in baseball on the ship and builds upon it, leading his little league team to the finals, where they lose to a spirited Japanese team. Not discouraged, Jack goes on to star in high school and college. He has trouble making friends, however, because no one wants to listen to his irritating stories about pirates and fairies and his father will not let them hang out alone. In college, finally free of his father's overbearing watch, Jack experiments with a number of drugs which eventually wrecks his baseball career. However, he manages to graduate with a degree in oceanography and becomes a successful treasure hunter. He has two children, neither of whom are allowed near their grandfather.

Maggie Banning: Maggie readjusts to life in the real world better than the others. She excels in school and wins a scholarship to Oxford, which she accepts as it is far away from her meddlesome father. She becomes a successful young adult author and self-help guru, whose best selling book, You Need a Mommy, and Other Lessons I Learned from Pirates, brings her a life o wealth and fame.

Lost Boys: Hot on the heels of their triumph over the pirates and Captain Hook, the Lost Boys engage in a week-long orgy of gluttony and drug-fueled experimentation with the mermaids of the deep. Those that survive agree to never speak of it again. Without pirates to pester, the Lost Boys dedicate themselves to setting the world record in largest Chutes and Ladder board. They come up one ladder short when the fat kid accidentally rolls into his weapon ball and takes out half the board. Devastated, the Lost Boys take up piracy of their own and hunt down their pirate nemeses of old one-by-one.