Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Goonies (1985)

Mikey: Hot on the heels of his success saving the town, Mikey developed a need for thrills. He spent the majority of his free time in the library searching for new maps with secret treasures, but none could match the joy of One Eye Willie's treasure. He grew increasingly despondent, and his friends slowly turned away from him. When he turned 25, a trust his parents had opened for him from the money leftover from the pirate jewels matured. Mikey took the money and fulfilled his dream of opening an amusement part, one that could give him the adrenaline rush he had craved for years. Unfortunately, he named the park in honor of the source of the money, and the advertising campaign kept scared parents away in droves: "One Eye Willie will make all your kids smile." Mikey lives alone today, an assistant at a museum in a nearby town.

Brand: The adventure with the treasure made Brand a hero to his new girlfriend, Andy, and to all the kids at school. Brand's signature look - short shorts on top of sweat pants - caught on, and all the guys began copying him. Brand took the experience with him to college, where he studied design. He and Andy now live together with two kids and run a clothing store, Brand Name Clothes.

Mouth: Mouth was murdered by a Puerto Rican after intentionally mistranslating an innocent transaction at a local grocery store where he worked. He was 23.

Data: His unnecessarily overcomplicated inventions won him a scholarship to Stanford. He would go on to make millions with his knock off of Mouse Trap, Pirate Trap.

Chunk: "You're going to live with me. We'll take care of you. I... I love you!" And with those words, a relationship was born. After Chunk graduated high school, he and Sloth moved in together in the city. Chunk wrote his tell-all autobiography, admitting to inane and far-too-personal details such as gluing his uncle's toupee to his face to use a a Moses beard in a Hebrew school play and dumping fake puke at a movie theater to make the audience lose it on one another. It was a gross best seller. They stay inside, with food deliveries arriving every two hours. Neighbors complain that they hear loud cries of "Hey you guuuuuys!!!" late at night. The two are very happy in their seclusion.